i have got the feedback from the supervisor about the previous work, which i have attached to you down. now i would like to expand the work to reach 4000 words. i have attached the previous work that you have done it for me and the feedback on it.
This is an interesting and well-thought through proposal addressing the problem of racism and investigation of crimes related to racism in the UAE. The literature review covers an impressive range of academic journal articles, and discusses and evaluates the contributions effectively. It also makes clear the gap in respect of the UAE and why this may be a particularly important issue in that context. The methodology is helpful and identifies the main points as well as very relevant groups who may participate in the research. It could have been improved with more ‘nuts and bolts’ discussion as to who the research would be conducted as well as other possible methods of data collection.
Be careful in future submissions to always use formal academic writing, and avoid the use of informal language that includes writing as you might speak, clichés, and also pay attention to word choices: one of the world’s foremost [one of the foremost, and avoid possessive apostrophes other than for human beings], citizen [citizens] and rulers, bogged down [‘bogged down’ if you must use the cliché, otherwise find a way to write this formally],
Overall a very good essay. Note that items in [square brackets] refer to corrections and notes relating to corrections and identification of good practice in academic writing.
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